WE'RE RUNNING A BIT BEHIND OUR FAMILY'S NORMAL HOLIDAY SCHEDULE THIS YEAR, and my wife and kids were just getting around to decorating the Christmas tree last night. But an old holiday tradition refused to die: Virtually all of our strings of lights failed to, well, light.

It happens without fail. Despite the fact that they all worked at the end of last year and were all carefully coiled and stored, only two strings worked right off the bat. A third one was finally resuscitated after much effort (and foul language?), but the rest are dead dead dead.

The amount spent on the strings seems to make no difference. Cheap ones are as likely to work (or not work) as more expensive ones.

Should all lights just be thrown out at the end of the season and new ones purchased for next time? That seems terribly wasteful to Murdoc. But most of them get thrown out for failing to work anyway.